I Think We've Misunderstood Cycle Syncing

Why understanding your energy is about more than your menstrual cycle.

When I first discovered cycle syncing, I honestly felt like someone had handed me the missing piece of a puzzle.

For years I'd wondered why some weeks I felt like I could conquer the world...

...and other weeks I wanted to wear stretchy pants and hibernate indoors.

I'd spend one week making plans, starting projects and feeling full of motivation.

Then the following week I'd look at the exact same to-do list and wonder why I suddenly couldn't be bothered.

I'd blame myself.

I thought I lacked discipline.

I thought I just needed to try harder.

I thought everyone else had somehow mastered consistency and I'd completely missed the memo.

Then I discovered cycle syncing.

Honestly...

It changed my life.

And I don't say that lightly.

If you ask me, Christ, it should be taught in schools.

Every girl should grow up understanding that she isn't supposed to feel exactly the same every single day.

I genuinely think it would've saved me years of wondering what was wrong with me.

For the first time, someone explained that our hormones naturally change throughout the month, and those changes can influence everything from our energy and mood to our motivation, appetite and even how social we feel.

Suddenly, years of feeling "inconsistent" made sense.

There was a reason some weeks I couldn't wait to get to the gym...

...while other weeks even putting my trainers on felt like a victory.

There was a reason some weeks I wanted to fill every evening with plans...

...and other weeks my ideal night involved cancelling everything, putting on stretchy pants and pretending the outside world didn't exist.

There was a reason some weeks my brain felt full of ideas...

...and other weeks deciding what to cook for dinner felt like the biggest decision I'd make all day.

It wasn't all in my head.

There was a rhythm.

And understanding that rhythm changed the way I saw myself.

I've been cycle syncing for almost two years now.

It's helped me understand my body in a way I never had before.

It's helped me stop judging myself quite so harshly.

It's given me language for things I'd experienced for years but never really understood.

In many ways...

It's the reason HerRhythm exists.

If I'd never discovered cycle syncing, I honestly don't think I'd be writing this blog today.

But here's the thing.

The more I learnt...

The more I tracked...

The more I paid attention...

The more I realised I wasn't just tracking my menstrual cycle anymore.

Without really noticing, I started tracking everything else too.

How I'd slept.

Whether I'd exercised.

Whether I'd actually eaten a proper lunch instead of surviving on coffee and whatever the children had left on their plates.

Whether we'd reached the school holidays and every routine I'd carefully built had quietly disappeared overnight.

Because, let's be honest...

Trying to run a business around two young children doesn't exactly create the same week every month.

And that's when I started noticing something.

Some months my energy followed my cycle almost perfectly.

It all seemed to make sense.

Then there were other months...

Months where it didn't.

Sometimes I felt exhausted when I was "supposed" to feel energised.

Sometimes I felt incredibly productive when I wasn't expecting to.

Sometimes stress seemed louder than my hormones.

Sometimes it was a few nights of rubbish sleep.

Sometimes it was simply life.

At first, I assumed I must be tracking my cycle wrong.

Maybe I'd got my dates mixed up.

Maybe I'd ovulated later than I thought.

Maybe I just needed to be more consistent.

But the more I paid attention...

The more I realised my menstrual cycle wasn't wrong.

It just wasn't the whole picture.

Then I started looking even closer.

One thing I noticed quite quickly was that my cycle didn't really look like the neat little diagrams I'd become so familiar with.

You know the ones...

Twenty-eight perfect little days.

Everything happening exactly when it's supposed to.

Mine doesn't.

It hasn't been twenty-eight days for years.

For a long time it settled around twenty-five days.

Over the last few months it's become even shorter.

It's now closer to twenty-two.

Now, that doesn't mean anything is wrong.

Women's cycles naturally vary, and they change throughout our lives.

But it did make me stop comparing my month to everyone else's.

Then I noticed something even more interesting.

According to most cycle syncing advice, my menstrual phase should be my "inner winter."

Except...

It isn't.

Don't get me wrong, the first day or so I absolutely want to slow down.

But after that?

It's often one of my most productive times of the month.

It's like someone's opened the curtains.

I suddenly want to write.

Plan.

Organise.

Get stuck into work.

My actual "inner winter" comes before my period.

Usually the last five days.

That's when everything feels just that little bit harder.

That's when you'll find me in stretchy pants.

Wrapped in a blanket.

Wanting everyone to leave me alone for twenty-four hours...

...then, when they finally do, I spend the rest of the day wondering why everyone's being so quiet and convincing myself they've all got the ump with me.

We really don't make it easy for ourselves, do we?

For a while, I genuinely wondered if I was getting cycle syncing wrong.

Why didn't my month look like everyone else's?

Why didn't my "winter" arrive when it was supposed to?

Why did my productive days seem to have a mind of their own?

Then one day it hit me.

Maybe I wasn't getting it wrong at all.

Maybe I was finally doing exactly what cycle syncing had taught me to do.

I was paying attention.

Not to an infographic.

Not to someone else's experience.

To my own.

Because surely that's the whole point.

Cycle syncing isn't about learning the average woman's cycle.

It's about understanding yours.

And that's when another thought quietly popped into my head.

One that's been sitting with me for months now.

I don't think we've misunderstood cycle syncing.

I think we've accidentally turned it into another set of rules.

Not because anyone meant to.

Not because cycle syncing itself teaches that.

But because social media has a habit of taking beautifully nuanced ideas and squeezing them into simple little boxes.

Four phases.

Four personalities.

Four neat little expectations.

Real life isn't that tidy.

At least, mine isn't.

And once I'd realised that...

I couldn't stop asking myself one question.

What if my menstrual cycle isn't the only rhythm influencing my energy?

The more I sat with that question...

The more I realised my menstrual cycle was only one rhythm I'd been paying attention to.

Because when I really looked back over the last couple of years, I could see there were lots of things influencing my energy.

Some of them happened every month.

Some happened every year.

Some just happened because... well... life happened.

Sometimes I was tired because I hadn't slept properly for three nights.

Sometimes I was mentally exhausted because I'd spent the whole day making decisions for everyone else.

Sometimes it was the school holidays and I was trying to fit a day's work into the two hours my children were actually playing nicely together.

Sometimes work was busy.

Sometimes life felt heavy.

Sometimes I'd eaten well, exercised and felt brilliant.

Other times I'd lived off coffee, toast and whatever I'd stolen from the kids' plates.

My hormones hadn't disappeared during any of those moments.

They were still there.

But they weren't the only thing influencing how I felt.

That's when it clicked.

Maybe we don't just live with one rhythm.

Maybe we live with lots of them.

Our menstrual cycle.

Sleep.

Stress.

The seasons.

The season of life we're in.

Movement.

Nutrition.

Our mental load.

Even the weather.

Because let's be honest...

Thirty-eight degrees in the middle of August doesn't exactly make me want to smash out a personal best in the gym.

Neither does a week of broken sleep.

Neither does trying to answer emails while someone is shouting, "Mummy... he's looking at me!"

Life has rhythms too.

And the more I noticed them...

The more everything started making sense again.

Not because I'd found another system.

But because I'd stopped looking for one answer to explain everything.

Instead of asking,

"What phase am I in?"

I found myself asking something completely different.

"What's influencing me today?"

It's such a simple question.

But it's completely changed the way I think about myself.

Because some days the answer is my cycle.

Some days it's stress.

Some days it's lack of sleep.

Some days it's the mental load.

Some days it's simply because I've been trying to do too much for too long.

That question has replaced so much judgement with curiosity.

And I think that's something women desperately need.

Because if you're anything like me, you've probably spent years carrying around a list of expectations.

You should have the same energy every day.

You should stay motivated.

You should exercise consistently.

You should cook healthy meals.

You should keep the house tidy.

You should be patient.

You should remember every school letter.

You should reply to every message.

You should enjoy every moment.

It's exhausting just reading that list.

Then, when we inevitably can't do all of those things all of the time...

We blame ourselves.

We tell ourselves we're lazy.

Disorganised.

Unmotivated.

Not trying hard enough.

I know I did.

Cycle syncing helped me stop asking,

"What's wrong with me?"

But this next chapter has helped me ask something even kinder.

"What's influencing me today?"

They're very different questions.

One assumes you're the problem.

The other assumes there's something worth understanding.

And I don't know about you...

But I'd much rather live my life asking better questions than constantly searching for better ways to criticise myself.

When I look back now, I don't think the biggest gift cycle syncing gave me was a better planner.

Or a better workout routine.

Or the perfect morning routine.

It gave me permission to stop assuming I was failing.

Then something unexpected happened.

As my understanding grew beyond my cycle...

The guilt slowly started disappearing too.

Not because life suddenly became easier.

Trust me, it didn't.

The washing still piles up.

The children still argue over who looked at who first.

There are still days where dinner is a last-minute decision and the house looks like it's been turned upside down.

Real life hasn't changed.

I've changed.

Or maybe...

The way I speak to myself has changed.

Instead of expecting myself to feel the same every single day...

I've started accepting that changing energy is part of being human.

Not just being a woman.

Being human.

And I think that's where HerRhythm is heading.

When I started this business, it was all about cycle syncing.

And I'm still incredibly passionate about it.

I still think every woman should understand her menstrual cycle.

I still think it should be taught in schools.

That hasn't changed.

What has changed...

Is me.

Or maybe it's more accurate to say my understanding has grown.

HerRhythm isn't moving away from cycle awareness.

It's growing beyond it.

Because I no longer believe my menstrual cycle is the only rhythm shaping how I think, work, move and live.

I believe it's one of many.

And I want HerRhythm to become a place where we explore all of them.

We'll still talk about hormones.

But we'll also talk about sleep.

Stress.

Motherhood.

Planning.

Nutrition.

Fitness.

The different seasons of life.

The invisible mental load so many women carry.

The expectations we place on ourselves.

And all the little things that quietly shape how we feel every single day.

Because I don't think women need another set of rules.

I think we need better questions.

Questions that replace judgement with curiosity.

Questions that replace guilt with understanding.

Because maybe you were never inconsistent.

Maybe you've just been trying to understand yourself through a much smaller window than you realised.

Before You Go...

I'd love to leave you with one question.

Have you ever had a day where your energy didn't match what your cycle "should" have felt like?

I'd genuinely love to know.

Because these conversations—your stories as much as mine—are shaping the future of HerRhythm.

If you'd like to keep exploring them with me, you can find me over on Instagram at @her_rhythm_app, where we have honest conversations about energy, planning and real life.

You can also find more ideas and inspiration on Pinterest.

And next Friday, we're taking this conversation one step further.

If your menstrual cycle isn't the only thing influencing your energy...

...what else is?

We'll be exploring the invisible rhythms we rarely talk about—and why noticing them has completely changed the way I think about women, energy and planning.

Until then...

Be curious.

Not critical.

Leanne 💛